Most overwhelmed moms would describe their burnout level as well-done, crispy fried. Burnout and overwhelm are widespread, particularly among moms managing numerous responsibilities. Through years of coaching, I’ve discovered that achieving true balance requires three essential elements: a Calm Mind®, Calm Body®, and Calm Love®.

• Calm Mind: Focuses on curiosity and awareness in a unique way, keeping you present, mindful, and understanding reality can’t be changed.
• Calm Body: Emphasizes physical well-being through stress-relieving activities and practices.
• Calm Love: Centers on unconditional love and acceptance of self and others. It includes setting healthy boundaries and fulfilling your own needs before expecting others to meet them.

Many individuals unknowingly focus on one or two pillars, but the reason my program is so transformational is we integrate all three.

Focusing solely on achieving a calm body without nurturing a calm mind and calm love results in an ongoing struggle to manage stress.

It’s like dumping water from a sinking boat without fixing the leak – you will never solve the problem and will end up exhausted.

For example, you may exercise rigorously, meditate, practice yoga, etc., yet without cultivating a Calm Body and Calm Love, these efforts alone will fall short. 

What are the signs of lacking a Calm Body and Calm Love?

• Wishing others would change
• Being a perfectionist
• Procrastination
• Not giving yourself grace when you make mistakes
• Yelling, snapping, or silently fuming
• Overthinking, rumination, and stressing about the past or future
• Making others a priority to your detriment
• Pushing yourself to the limit
• Mom guilt or shame
• Unforgiveness of self or others

The good news is that you can find relief and balance by incorporating all three pillars into your life. Here are five tangible tools you can use immediately to decrease stress and restore more calm. This is a continual process, it’s not a one and done type thing.

1. Calm Mind: Acceptance and Awareness

Acceptance of Facts:
One of the most significant sources of stress is resisting what exists. Acceptance doesn’t mean you like or agree with everything; it means you acknowledge reality without adding drama/stress. Whether it’s your  husband, mother-in-law, mom, or kids, etc. accepting who they are creates more peace and deeper connection. When you accept the facts, you conserve energy and reduce unnecessary mental fatigue. The facts are the facts with or without your acceptance. You get to decide if their actions are non-negotiables but you can’t change them. We will explore this in depth next week.

Awareness of Thoughts:
Pay attention to your thoughts. Are they bringing peace or causing pain? If you catch yourself spiraling into negative thinking, process and acknowledge it then gently redirect your thoughts to something more neutral or positive, avoiding toxic positivity.  We allow all the feels (anger, sadness, etc.) but we don’t live there we’re just passing through. This process takes work, it’s simple but not easy.  It takes my clients weeks for this to finally “click”.

Tool: Exteroceptive vs. Interoceptive Meditation
For those who tend to overthink, exteroceptive meditation – focusing on external stimuli like sounds, sights, or sensations outside the body – can be more beneficial than interoceptive meditation. Start with short sessions, like three minutes. For overthinkers and ruminators, practicing exteroceptive meditation is recommended. Sit quietly and focus on the sounds, sensations of the air, or colors in your surroundings to help ground yourself and calm your mind. If you don’t really have trouble overthinking, you can incorporate both types of meditation into your practice.

2. Calm Body: Physically Releasing Stress

Stress-Relieving Activities:
Physical stress manifests in your body, contributing to burnout, exhaustion and eventually health issues. Engaging in activities that release stress is crucial.

Regular exercise, yoga, and deep breathing can significantly impact your well-being. Stress in your body is inevitable however, you must find a way to release it.

Cold Therapy:
Inspired by the Wim Hof Method, cold therapy can be a powerful tool to invigorate your body and mind. It reduces inflammation, boosts mood, and enhances resilience to stress.

Tool: Deep Breathing Exercise
Take a few minutes each day for deep breathing. Inhale deeply for four counts, hold for seven, and exhale for eight. Repeat this cycle four times. If you don’t feel more relaxed, you’re probably not doing it correctly. 

Yoga with Adriene has some great breathing videos on YouTube. Deep breathing activates your parasympathetic nervous system and promotes relaxation. 

3. Calm Love: Self-Compassion and Boundaries

Unconditional Self-Love:
Loving yourself unconditionally means giving yourself grace, especially when things don’t go as planned. Not seeking validation from others and the constant practice of affirming your own worth.

Healthy Boundaries:
Establishing and maintaining boundaries is essential for your mental health. This includes saying no when necessary and creating time for activities that recharge you. This makes you a better person, mom, wife, daughter, etc.

Prentis Hemphil said, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.”

Tool: Self-Compassion Break
Whenever you’re feeling stressed or overwhelmed, take a self-compassion break. Pause for a moment, acknowledge your feelings, and offer yourself kindness.

Talk to yourself as you would a friend who is stressed, overwhelmed or made a mistake. 

Integrating the Pillars

Start Small and Build:
Consistency is key. By starting small, you’ll find it easier to stick to these practices and gradually make them a natural part of your daily life.

Bonus Activities:

Connect with Nature

Nature’s Healing Power:
Spending time outdoors has a profound effect on reducing stress and enhancing well-being.

Whether it’s a walk in the park, gardening, or just sitting outside, connecting with nature can be incredibly grounding.

Tool: Short Nature Walks
Begin with seven-minute nature walks twice a week. Gradually increase the time as you become more comfortable.

Use this time to disconnect from technology and reconnect with yourself and the natural world.

Seek Support

Community and Connection:
Remember, you don’t have to do it all alone. Surround yourself with supportive friends, family, or a community of like-minded individuals.

Sometimes just a girls night chatting about any and everything, can be therapeutic. Sharing your experiences and hearing others’ stories can provide comfort and perspective.

Tool: Professional Coaching
Of course, I’m big on coaching! I’ve hired at least 20 coaches during my life and spent countless dollars hiring the best. 

I’ve hired everyone from a money coach to a meditation coach because I can’t always recognize my own drama, and even when I do, I struggle to improve it long term. I need an unbiased guide to help me become a higher version of myself as a person and a coach.

I know how valuable coaching is in moving you to the next level mentally, physically and financially.  Consider seeking the support of a professional coach.

A coach can provide personalized strategies, accountability, and a supportive space to explore your challenges and goals. This one-on-one support can be invaluable in navigating burnout and creating lasting change.

If you’re struggling with creating calm, I know a great Calm Mom Coach!

Conclusion

Decreasing burnout and overwhelm is within your reach. By embracing the pillars of Calm Mind, Calm Body, and Calm Love, you can create a more balanced, peaceful, and fulfilling life.

Start implementing these tangible tools today and notice the positive changes in your overall well-being.

Remember, you deserve to feel calm, cared for, and loved. Want to know how stress is impacting your life? Take the Mom Burnout Archetype Quiz!