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MOMS OF Autistic Kids

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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

When life punches you in the gut

I went back and forth on whether to share this because it’s vulnerable, but I know it can help someone. ​ ​ ​

​Acceptance of the good things in life is always super easy. Acceptance of the not so wonderful things is more difficult. ​ ​ ​

True acceptance helps you become your best version. ​ ​ ​

Constantly controlling and refusing to accept the facts makes us miserable and exhausted. ​ ​ ​

Over spring break we had an awesome family vacation. We rented a home in one of our favorite cities, New Orleans, and relaxed by the pool while partaking in the culinary delights. We laughed, swam, watched movies, and really just enjoyed each other. ​ ​ ​

When we got back home,  there was a letter from my son’s University. My son resigned from school effective February 9th. WHAT?!? He led me to believe for months that he was still in school. I didn’t even know formal resignation was a thing. I knew he didn’t want to go back next year but I thought we could “work through it” over the summer. ​ ​I honestly thought he’s just having a moment and it would pass.

My thoughts started hitting me pretty hard. ​

  • I’ve been spending over $1,100 every month for rent and food! ​
  • How could he do this? ​
  • This is not what I imagined for his life. ​
  • His grandparents are going to have a fit! ​
  • A college degree gives him options. ​
  • Where did we go wrong? ​
  • He shouldn’t have! ​
  • WHY?? ​
  • We all have degrees – why is he so different?
  • Why can’t he be like _____? ​ ​ ​

​At first, I was furious and yelled at him. I went through several emotions – anger, sadness, worry, embarrassment, doubt, etc. ​ ​ ​

I was mourning the life I had imagined for him. ​ ​ ​

I allowed myself to feel all the feels. Then I remembered what I teach others: I must accept the facts as the facts. ​ ​ ​

I can’t change him and I can’t change this. What’s done is done. ​ ​ ​

Fighting reality is only causing me more heartache. ​ ​ ​

​Once I processed the pain and my emotions, I started creating new thoughts ​

  • What if this is the best thing for him? ​
  • What if this is the best lesson for him to become his best version? ​
  • What if MY control of his life is not in his best interest? ​
  • What if a college degree won’t bring him happiness and fulfillment? That’s all I really want for him. ​
  • What if this is HIS exact path – HIS destiny? ​
  • Do I want him to live his life or mine? ​ ​ ​

I still have my emotional moments, but I understand that holding on to my “dream” life for him only brings me more suffering. ​ ​ ​

I’m choosing to be calm through it all. ​ ​ ​

I’m choosing thoughts that will empower me. ​ ​ ​Thoughts that will bring me more peace.​

I allow my feels like “ass” moments, but I don’t live there. ​ ​ ​

I always joke that I go through so many problems in order to help my clients through their challenges. God, I think I have enough data and personal heartache to to coach my clients, please don’t send me anymore. LOL! ​ ​ ​

​I have graduated with a PHD in Struggle and Heartache. However, I know THIS is my exact path. ​ ​ ​

Although I could process it all pretty quickly, I realized that this is what many go through not accepting the facts. I also realized that it must be miserable to live a life constantly fighting what is. ​ ​ ​

This is why I do what I do.

I help others move through pain to acceptance. ​ ​ ​

I help others have peace when things don’t go their way.

I help others live not just exist.​

I help others look forward to their incredible future.​

How you handle the negative aspects of your life is what determines your quality of life. ​ ​ ​

If you’re struggling to find peace and acceptance of the hard things in your life. ​

If you feel exhausted and defeated often.

If you want more from your marriage and life.

I can definitely help you. ​ ​ ​

Are you happy with your life right now?

Do you want to continue living like this? If not, DO SOMETHING NOW!

  1. Evelyn Jackson says:

    I too had this image of how my sons life would be but soon realized that he didn’t have the same image for his life that I have. It’s hard to stomach sometimes that he is squandering all his potential, all the potential I see that he is missing. Why can’t he see what I see. All you ever want for your kids is to be better than you, at least that’s all I wanted for my kids, so yes I definitely feel your heartache, stress and disappointment. I still pray that they will eventually make it to my dream for them.

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