MOM Blog



MOMS OF Autistic Kids

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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

Tired of feeling like roommates?

In marriage, it’s easy to get caught up in all the responsibilities that adulting brings.

Our careers, the kids, and managing the household can suck our energy and time if we aren’t careful.

You feel he doesn’t make you a priority.

He doesn’t do the little things he used to do when you first met.

Little by little, you lose connection with your husband.

You start to become resentful.

When you communicate how you feel it’s met with resistance.

You slowly pull away.

You are no longer thrilled with sex and at times it may seem like a chore.

You end up living separately in the same house, like roommates.

You feel stuck.

The key to getting the spark back is communication and connection.

These activities below won’t completely solve your issues but they can get you started on the path to better.

I’m fairly new to the Instagram world, but I posted these tips on my IG, and my phone was buzzing with messages.

If you aren’t following me on Instagram, you are missing out on daily tips to help your marriage!

This week I’m posting amazing date night ideas. Click here to follow me

Activities to Help Create More Connection In Your Marriage

Linger 6 seconds longer when kissing and embracing

There is gold in this activity. When you feel yourself wanting to naturally pull back pause then silently count to 6 (slow count LOL!) and you will over time feel more connected and he will too. Do this when you feel like it and do it when you don’t.

Go on weekly or bi-weekly dates somewhere new

When you do the same old, same old, it creates a dull routine causing you to feel stuck. The key here is to find a new experience that you both haven’t experienced.  Studies have shown this is a great way to spark excitement and stimulation in the marriage. 

Have drinks at home on the patio at sunset (sunrise)

There is so much beauty in watching the sunrise or sunset.  When you do it together you are experiencing beauty together.  This simple act can sometimes create meaningful conversations and time for reflection.

Use this time to reflect on the amazing times in your marriage- when you first met, the crazy in love things you used to do, etc.

Go for a walk together

There is something about being in nature that grounds you.  If you can go for a walk in a new place that’s even better!  You not only get the health benefits of walking and breathing in fresh air, but you also have time to talk uninterrupted. 

Find small wins to celebrate together

When you celebrate the small wins together, it motivates the larger accomplishments.  It helps you to feel like your spouse is rooting for you and wants the best for you. You feel as if they have your back at all times.

Increase non-sexual touching

For some men (and a few women) this can be difficult, but what this tells the other spouse is I want to be close to you not just during sex but at all times because I love you. This actually helps the intimacy in the bedroom too!

Increase the sex frequency

During this time, your primary goal should be pleasing your husband.  Something magical happens when your only goal is to please the other person they sense it and typically reciprocate.

My husband and I once did a 30-day sex challenge. It was hilarious! We weren’t successful in having sex every day for 30 days, but the connection and humor that it created was priceless.  We still 8 years or so later laugh about how it was an epic fail thinking at our age we could go 30 days in a row.

Be sure to do the following during this process:

  • Actively listen during this time together
  • Talk openly about your needs
  • Respect each other
  • Ask questions about their thoughts/feelings and goals.


If you seek more connection, I challenge you to do these 7 activities for the next 30 days with no expectations, no demands.

Be sure to follow me on Instagram and check back in to let me know how the challenge is going.

If you’re tired of feeling stuck and want to feel alive again. I can definitely help you!

Let’s talk!

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