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MOMS OF Autistic Kids

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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

When It’s a S#&^!@ Situation

I normally don’t blog on Saturdays, but I wanted to write while fresh in my mind. If you follow or know me, you know my bonus baby (my cousin) is autistic. We’ve had him for 2 years. Each day is different. Some days are excellent, some good, and some are flat out S#%&*@!

I was invited to a crawfish boil yesterday. My husband and I LOVE crawfish (southern thang’) and we haven’t been out in a while because our sitter is out for 2 months. I was told to bring my little one. There will be a bouncer and other kids there. I was apprehensive, but thought it would be fine. He loves to bounce. Plus, in the car we said if it goes left we can leave. Talk about the power of your words.

This event had a few of my current clients and possible future clients and their families. I was excited to get to know everyone and their families on a more intimate level.

We were there about an hour; I walk outside to grab my first batch of crawfish. My husband has a look on his face. Whatever it is, I know it’s not good. My little one has pooped in the bouncer and he’s covered in it. We can’t take him in the house to clean him because he will create a massive trail. My husband takes him to the car to clean him. I hop in the bouncer to clean it. While squeezing myself through a tiny hole and cleaning the bouncer, the thoughts starting slamming me… why today of all days? This was a bad idea. I knew it! I should have left him on the potty longer! Why me? We never get to do anything! My life will never be the same.

For those who don’t know us, taking care of my bonus baby was to be temporary while his mom got her life together, but here we are two years later with mom still in the same place. So, if I’m not careful I will go down the path of woe is me in the land of misery. A few seconds later, I immediately snapped myself out of it.

Let me preface this: it’s healthy to feel negative feelings. You’re human. However, when you live in the land of negative feelings, that’s when it’s problematic.

Here are the steps I walked through as I’m wiping up S#@! to help me move to a calmer place. You can use these steps to do the same with your S#%&*@ situations.

1.     Take a step back and look at the facts – Most often it’s not the end of the world and if it is the end of the world, wouldn’t you like peace? It’s easy to get caught up in the pity party and compare your life to others. Being the victim has zero upside! Yes, it sucks! Yes, we didn’t sign up for this, but here we are right smack dab in the middle of a S#&%. Look at the facts as the facts. 

For me, there is poop in a bouncer that needs to be cleaned and a 7 yo that needs a thorough hosing down. Nothing more unless I make it more.

2.     Accept that is has happened – There’s no benefit to wish it away. Why? Because it’s impossible! How painful is it to keep trying to do the impossible?

3.     Give yourself grace and love – no matter how you handled it or what has happened, you’re a human dealing with an imperfect circumstance. Do what you need to do to show yourself love, acceptance, and grace while you maneuver through the situation.

Once in the car, we laughed about it our poopy day. We had him butt-naked standing in the grass covered with poop while their neighbors passed by. We also had the amazing aroma wafting through the car.

We don’t always welcome challenges but understand it can create a better version if you allow it to.

Honestly, I don’t know how people navigate without these tools. I’m grateful I have some amazing people in my life who have given me these tools and continue to remind me that feeling S#!&&@ is okay temporarily, but it’s also optional.

If you keep getting stuck dealing with challenging situations. You’ve tried to talk yourself out of the slump. You’ve tried to “woman up” and push through. You’ve read the books and inspirational things to move you past it but you’ve been unsuccessful. You need guidance.

Most can’t do this on their own. I couldn’t and neither could my clients. It’s like reading a book on swimming, then just jumping in the ocean. You need direction. I’m here to help you get out of your S%&@ unless you’re comfortable in it and like it. Set up a sales call with me. I promise you can change the way you feel about your life!

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