If we aren’t careful, our days can easily merge into an indistinct haze. Combine this with neglecting self-care, bearing a heavy mental load, and tackling an endless list of tasks, and you’re on a fast track to feeling overwhelmed and burned out. Before you know it, you might find yourself questioning your identity and desires.

When stress and overwhelm become constant companions, our brains struggle to think outside the box or solve problems effectively. Your primary aim should be to minimize both stress and its sources.

It might seem impossible to reduce the overwhelm in your life, what with the endless appointments, household responsibilities, career demands, and the general juggling act of life. However, if you implement these four strategies, you’ll notice a significant drop in your stress levels. This doesn’t mean you won’t have challenging days, but managing these tough times better can significantly reduce your overall sense of overwhelm.

Improving your life starts with improving your days, which in turn, starts with improving your hours. And improving your hours? That begins with adopting healthier thoughts and actions. Here are some initial steps to help you craft better hours.

SET REALISTIC EXPECTATIONS

Ultimately, setting expectations is your choice. You can maintain them at their current level, but consider whether your current expectations increase or decrease your stress levels. To reduce stress, I’ve learned to set realistic expectations about what to expect from others and situations. For instance, I anticipate the pharmacist might make a mistake, my husband might confuse parsley and cilantro (it’s happened so many times I can’t count), or that the day may bring unexpected challenges. I even brace myself for the moments when my kids, adults children too, might make decisions that seem unwise to me.

Acknowledging that not everything will go perfectly allows me to adjust my expectations and minimize disappointment. If I’m anticipating a potentially disastrous family event, I plan ahead: What will I do if ‘x’ happens? How can I mentally prepare? And most importantly, do I even want to attend? Remember, decisions shouldn’t be made based on others’ expectations but on your own needs and desires. Compromise is fine, but not at the expense of your own wellbeing.

Setting realistic expectations with those beyond my control has been a game-changer. When my child has a bad day, I remind myself that it’s out of my hands. Yes, it’s only human to feel upset, I process my emotions and move through it. Preparing for these moments helps me manage my stress better. Questions like, “How can I make this situation easier and less stressful? What can I do to support my own wellbeing?” are crucial. A calmer, less stressed parent or partner benefits everyone in the household, including yourself.

Consider an event that typically stresses you out. Plan now to reduce the activities that contribute to that stress and develop strategies to lessen the overwhelm. For me, dealing with bedwetting was a major stressor. To maintain my composure, I had to simplify activities during those high-stress moments, like avoiding the hassle of changing sheets in the middle of mind-drama.

ASK OPEN ENDED QUESTIONS

Ask yourself…

How can I solve this problem?

What do I need today? Right now? 

How can I take some time for myself?

Are there areas where I can better use my time?

How can I take care of myself today?

What do I really want to do?

You will be surprised at what your brain will come up with.

Rather than thinking…

I don’t have time for self care!

I don’t know what to do! 

Everything feels so overwhelming. 

This is too much.

These phrases immediately shut down your problem-solving capabilities. The moment you utter them, your brain ceases to look for solutions to your issue.

PLAN RELAXATION TIME

The higher your stress levels, the more crucial it becomes to carve out relaxation time. If you’re thinking you don’t have the time, that’s just an excuse. You can either debate this with me or find a way to prioritize yourself. If there was an essential event you couldn’t miss, you’d find the time. Make it happen; it’s non-negotiable. Choose to take time for yourself now, or risk having that choice made for you through illness, both mental and physical.

Starting with small commitments is the secret to consistency.

MAKE TIME FOR JOY ACTS (even if small)

Seek out those little moments that fill you with happiness. For me, it’s all about dancing and singing. Once, my daughter and I got to school early to pick up my stepchild, and we threw ourselves a mini 90’s R&B concert in the car. We probably “entertained” the whole school without caring because it filled us with joy!

Indulge in activities that bring you happiness, be it a dance party, singing, crafting, exercising, or simply enjoying a quiet moment with your favorite beverage on the patio. Start finding your joy today.

ACTION STEPS:

1. Adjust your expectations to be realistic, based on what actually happens, not on what you wish would happen. Consider an event that typically stresses you out. How can you reduce your obligations during this time? Plan in advance how you will handle it.
2. Ask yourself plenty of open-ended questions to explore solutions, like “How can I __?”
3. In the coming days, take note whenever you catch yourself thinking in a way that stifles problem-solving.
4. Lower your expectations for everyone, yourself included. Hope for the best, but prepare for the worst. Have a plan for if things don’t go as hoped.
5. Treat your downtime as a critical appointment that can’t be postponed.
6. Schedule a 5-10 minute activity that brings you joy this week and mark it on your calendar.

Exploring these questions can open up a world of possibilities and lead you to answers you never thought possible. But if you find yourself circling back to doubts, or if the idea of carving out time for self-care seems like a distant dream, remember, you don’t have to navigate this journey alone.

Imagine having a dedicated partner to guide you through these questions, helping you uncover the deep-seated answers within you, and crafting a path toward the life you deserve.

Why not take the first step towards transforming your daily overwhelm into a life of clarity and joy? Book a call with me today, and let’s explore together how you can make meaningful changes that create more calm in your life.

This is more than just finding time for self-care; it’s about rediscovering yourself and creating a life that truly feels like yours. Don’t let another day pass by in confusion or overwhelm. Your journey to a more fulfilled and peaceful life begins with a single conversation. Let’s talk.