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MOMS OF Autistic Kids

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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

The Art of Self-Love

As I scrolled Instagram this morning, I saw this on a T-shirt, she believed she could, but she needed a break so she said, NO!

This was the perfect quote for my client, Jaala. Jaala is director of HR overseeing hundreds of employees. She has two amazing boys and was always in go mode.

I’ve been working with Jaala around 10 months.  She started out in my group program but wanted to up level her transformation and moved to private coaching. 

She used to do things to make others happy while internally protesting.  When she didn’t speak up or honor what she wanted, she would feel a literal lump in her throat.  She was basically muting her inner voice.

Last week during our session, she talked a lot about her transformation.  It was so good I asked her if I could share a snippet of her transformation.  Her response, “Absolutely! The world should know about your work!”

True self-love can create so much calm in your life that it changes your life as you know it.

Many clients come to me thinking I will tell them what to do or I have some magic potion to change others in their lives.  This isn’t true.

I’m an exceptional coach, but I’m amazing because I guide them to figure out what THEY want. I guide them to create so much self-love that they quickly learn how to say the most beautiful word created, NO!

Learning to listen to your desires and not allowing what others may think, feel, or say to dictate your life is complete freedom.

Just because you can do something doesn’t mean you should.

Here are some strategies Jaala used to find more calm and happiness.


I can’t stress enough how much you need time to just be.  The kids can wait. Your husband can wait.  The chores can wait. Everything can wait but you.

The more time you spend alone, the more you can key into the things that are really important to you.

YOU are the most important person in your life, so act like it!


Don’t allow anyone to be emotionally abusive to you (including yourself).

People make mistakes, but when it happens often, it’s no longer a mistake but a habit.

If you’re the main offender and you often emotionally abuse yourself – STOP IT! First, you must be aware of when it’s happening.  Then interrupt the cycle by audibly saying a firm STOP OR NO.  


You and only you know what’s best for you. Having a network or friends and family to help you is amazing, but in the end they don’t know what’s best for you. 

Ask yourself – 

Does this feel right deep down? Don’t allow others to influence your decision.

Why am I doing or not doing this thing?

Is this what I want? Remember, I don’t know is a cop out, you do know what you want and if by chance you don’t go back to #1 Spend Time Alone.

DISCLAIMER: If you’ve consistently silenced yourself you may have to get really quiet, journal, and spend some time alone reflecting. REMEMBER, there is no wrong option, just choices.


This trains the brain to expect the same from others.  It also creates a life where you feel in control and fulfilled.

Be honest with yourself.  Stop saying ‘yes’ to things that you know contradict your truth or what you want.


What are you doing to create more calm in your life? Is it working?

Think about the last ten months of your life, have you made changes? Is your life so much better that you don’t recognize yourself? If not, set up a call with me! Let’s figure out if we’re a good fit for each other. Ten months from now you can be just like Jaala or better!

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