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More Struggle and Juggle Than Joy: Why Holidays Are Stressful for Women

Most women are already operating at maximum capacity, but the holiday season takes stress levels to new heights. According to an American Psychological Association (APA) study, over 73% of women report being unable to relax during the holidays. This heightened stress often results in headaches, fatigue, depression, and anxiety.

The graphic above is an actual text from one of my clients, sharing how the tools I provided transformed her holiday experience last year. If you want more calm – keep reading!

Here are eight key reasons why the holidays are so stressful for women, along with practical tips to combat the chaos and protect your peace.

  1. Social Expectations
    Pressure to attend multiple events or meet certain obligations can lead to constant busyness and dread.
    • Simplify Your Calendar: Limit events based on your capacity. Before RSVPing, pretend the event is happening this week – would you have the energy to attend? If not, say no, or reply with a “maybe” to keep your options open.

      Personally, I’m all about the “maybe” so I can assess my mental, emotional, and physical state closer to the date.

      Now for larger events like weddings, where this isn’t possible, take some time to reflect before committing. Sending a gift instead of attending has brought me so much peace!

  2. Unrealistic Expectations
    Of others and of yourself. The pressure to create a “perfect” holiday experience can feel overwhelming because it’s not attainable.
    • Shift Your Mindset: Accept that things will never be perfect and you can’t control others’ emotions. Their expectations are theirs alone – not your problem or responsibility.

Pro Tip: Aim high but prepare for imperfections. Disappointment might happen, but remember, you’re not responsible for anyone else’s feelings. I’m definitely not saying be a jerk but focus on creating joy for yourself and your family in a way that feels good for you.

  1. Mental Load / Emotional Labor
    This is the invisible labor – planning, coordinating, and managing that often falls on women, leaving them drained and resentful.
    • Let Go of Control: Stop trying to manage everything. Delegating tasks can lighten your mental load and restore your calm.

Real-Life Example: I handed over gift shopping for my husband’s family to my husband. He forgot something one year, instead of rescuing him, I let him handle it – and he did. It was a game-changer for my mental health.

  1. Gift-Giving Overwhelm
    The pressure to find meaningful gifts for everyone can lead to financial stress, time pressure, and mental strain.
    • Reframe Your Thinking: A gift is just that – a gift. Its value doesn’t define your worth, your relationship, or how much you love someone.

Peace Tip: If someone doesn’t like their gift or has something negative to say, remember: their reaction is about them, not you.

  1. Juggling Priorities
    Handling work, family, and holiday responsibilities can be emotionally and physically draining, leaving you feeling like you can never catch your breath.
    • Set Boundaries: Know your limits and stick to them. For example, this year, I decided not to host or cook. Instead, I’m contributing financially – no stress, no stove. I’m unapologetically honoring myself! Maybe we should start a movement, No Stress! No Stove!

  1. Financial Tension
    Gifts, events, and travel can create significant emotional strain, even if you can afford it.
    • Honor Your Budget & Yourself: Spend only what aligns with your financial and emotional priorities. Even if you can afford it, ask yourself if you want to spend the money.

  1. Grief
    The holidays can amplify feelings of loss or loneliness.
    • Seek Support: You don’t have to navigate these feelings alone, a therapist is always a great option. I’ve added an article on coping with grief during the holidays below.

  1. Neglecting Self-Care
    Women frequently put others’ needs ahead of their own, often neglecting self-care.
    • Your Cup is For You: Picture your peace, energy, mental clarity, patience, resilience, and balance in a cup reserved just for you.

      Others should benefit from the overflow, not what’s inside. Protecting your reserve is the key to creating a calmer, productive, and more fulfilled life.
    • Take Breaks During Events (if necessary): It’s perfectly fine to step away for a moment. Find a quiet space, get some fresh air, or take a few minutes to center yourself, especially if the event or certain people feel overwhelming.

Pause and Reflect: Before committing to anything holiday related, ask yourself, “Does this honor me?” If the answer is no, reconsider.

This holiday season, take a step back to prioritize your peace. Set boundaries, let go of perfectionism, and remember that your well-being matters most. Keep your cup full and may your holidays be refreshing and full of joy!

How to Cope with Grief During the Holidays click here to read.

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