Last Sunday, I woke up at 7:30 am feeling heavy, I couldn’t breathe. It felt like something was on my chest. Despite thinking I was over some of the things, I was back on the emotional rollercoaster again.

Here are the mental stressors I’ve been grappling with:

1. Caring for our bonus baby, who is autistic and has been having more severe meltdowns, placing his head through walls, beating his head on the tile and wood floors, throwing things, and screaming for hours non-stop. Mentally, I was struggling with the fact that I initially agreed to keep him temporarily, not permanently but here we are over 2 years later.
2. Coping with my bonus mom’s stage 4 diagnosis that came out of nowhere. She was perfectly healthy and now this.
3. Managing the rapid growth of my business, which means more client calls, marketing, and sales responsibilities, although a great problem, it comes with added stress.
4. Having to fire the person who cares for our bonus baby in the middle of my husband’s busy travel season. Refer to #3 as to why this is a problem.
5. Juggling the daily demands of being the chauffeur, maid, nanny, cook (well ordering take-out), lunch maker, accountant, nurse, scheduling doctor and therapy appts, keeping up with prescription refills, managing household chores, putting out fires, and the mental load that comes with it all.

This despair I felt on Sunday morning I knew I couldn’t stay in this state, I began asking myself powerful questions:

• What do I need right now?
• Why am I feeling like this?
• What can I do right now to feel better?
  
  

My higher self urged me to book a hotel room and rest but then the inner critic chimed in:

• You have 6 calls tomorrow. How will you manage that from a hotel room?
• It’s unfair to John; he’s leaving for his trip tomorrow.
• You should have planned this better. One day won’t help you.
  
  

Ignoring the doubts, I went ahead and booked a night at a 5-star hotel. I could have chosen a less expensive option, but I deserved to feel pampered. I’m worth it!

I knew my husband could handle things. Sometimes, the only solution is to step away, decompress, and reassess life’s challenges.

I always encourage others to take staycations for sanity’s sake, so I practiced what I preach.

Here are common mental objections you might face:

• Waiting until you have more time.
• Feeling guilty about spending money on yourself.
• Concerns about leaving responsibilities on others.
• Feeling selfish for taking time for yourself.

It’s important to confront these thoughts. Taking time, even if it’s not perfect, is better than waiting indefinitely. Delaying it drastically reduces the chances of it happening at all.

I’m not completely stress-free that’s impossible, but I’ve identified changes to help:

• Hiring help for meal preparation when my husband travels to avoid unhealthy eating habits. We eat trash when John travels, and it impacts my mood.
• I will spend extra money on things that make my life easier.
  • I just purchased 10 more pair of underwear for my “ausome” little one because we’re potty training. This will decrease the urgency behind washing his clothes daily when he goes through 8 pair of underwear.
  • I bought more masks for emergency backup. This simple thing can take me over the edge when I’m scrambling to wash and dry masks for my daughter for school the morning of because I forgot to wash the night before.
• My husband will get up earlier and get our bonus baby completely ready when he’s in town which allows me to sleep in or complete my morning routine.
• I will take more planned days for massages, relaxing, etc. at least once a month.
• I will not put pressure on myself to get a blog or Instagram posts done. I want it to be easy not a burden. It’s fascinating how your thoughts can make the exact same task feel either heavy or light.
• I’m purchasing a trampoline or swing set for the backyard to expend some of the ADHD energy out of my little one.
• I’m looking into mobile laundry service when my husband travels. They will pick up, clean, and drop off laundry.

Write down every task you complete, including weekends. Then ask yourself the following:

Importance and Impact:

• Is this task essential to achieving my goals or maintaining my family’s well-being?
• What impact will completing or neglecting this task have on my life?

Skills and Abilities:

• Am I the best person to do this task, or is there someone else who could do it more efficiently?
• Does this task align with my strengths and expertise?

Time and Efficiency:

• How much time does this task require, and is it worth the time investment?
• Can this task be completed more efficiently through delegation, automation, or outsourcing?

Cost vs. Benefit:

• What are the costs, in terms of time, money, or energy, associated with completing this task myself?
• Would outsourcing or automating this task be more cost-effective in the long run?

Frequency and Repetition:

• How often does this task need to be done, and is it a recurring or one-time task?
• Would automating or delegating this task save time over multiple occurrences?

Personal Well-being:

• Does doing this task myself contribute positively or negatively to my mental or physical well-being?
• Would outsourcing or delegating this task free up time for self-care or other priorities?
• What would make me feel amazing if someone would complete a task for me?

Capacity and Overload:

• Am I already overwhelmed with tasks, and does this task contribute to my feeling of overload?
• Would delegating or deleting this task reduce my overall stress and workload?
• What is my biggest stressor?

Remember, your time and sanity are two of your greatest assets. Deleting, delegating, automating, and outsourcing can bring greater peace! Your list of changes might look different from mine, but it’s crucial to create one and review it regularly, especially when stress levels rise.

When stressed, do you pause and reflect? Do you listen to your needs and take time to unwind?

I challenge you to take a break, gain clarity, and create your list.

Remember, you are the most important person in your life. Do things that validate this truth, it makes you a better person, mom, and wife.

Need help navigating?  Set up a call with me.