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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

Feel like you can’t breathe?

Last Sunday, I woke up at 7:30 AM and couldn’t breathe.

Heavy chest. Spinning thoughts. Total overwhelm.

Even though I thought I had moved through some things, I was right back on the emotional rollercoaster.

Here’s what I was juggling:

  1. My autistic baby’s severe meltdowns – putting his head through walls, slamming his head on wood and tile floors, screaming for hours non-stop, breaking anything in reach. And while managing that I’m stuck in a loop of “this was supposed to be temporary” – yet here we are, over 2 years later.
  2. ​My bonus mom’s stage 4 cancer diagnosis – completely out of nowhere.
  3. A rapidly growing business – amazing but demanding.
  4. ​Firing our caregiver – during my husband’s busy travel season. Refer to #3 why this is a problem.
  5. ​Doing all the things – chauffeur, nurse, chef , scheduler, house manager. You get it.

I caught myself and asked:

What do I need right now?

My higher self said: “Book a hotel. Rest.”
My inner critic said: “You have 6 calls tomorrow. That’s selfish, John has to travel tomorrow and one day won’t fix this.”

I booked the 5-star hotel anyway. Not because it was cheap or easy but because it’s what I needed.

Because I needed to breathe. To reset. To be human.

If you’ve ever felt like this, you’re not alone. But waiting for the perfect time to take care of yourself? That’s a trap.

Your brain will say:
​- “It’s not the right time.”
– “It’s too expensive.”
– “It’s selfish.”
– “Everyone else needs me.”

You don’t have to wait. You deserve rest now – messy, imperfect, whatever that looks like. Sometimes it’s taking 3 hours of PTO for an “appointment” – an appointment with you.

Here’s what I’ve decided:​

      • Hiring help when my husband travels — we eat trash when he’s gone and it impacts my mood
      • Buying extra underwear for our potty-training little one — less pressure to do laundry immediately, less stress
      • Letting my husband take over mornings when he’s in town — I get to sleep or have me time
      • Monthly massages — non-negotiable
      • No pressure to create blog posts – I want ease, not burnout – The same task can feel heavy or light depending on how you feel about it.
      • Buying a trampoline — our bonus baby needs an outlet for all that energy
      • Outsourcing laundry when my husband’s gone — because sanity > washing and folding clothes

      Also — I made a list of every task I do and did some soul searching.

      Make your list of everything you do, including weekends. With each line item, close your eyes and think of how it feels when you complete it. Then ask some of these questions:

      • Is this task essential? Why?
      • What is my biggest stressor? What can I do to decrease its impact?
      • What can I do to limit the amount of times I have to think about this task?
      • What impact will completing or not completing this task have on my life?
      • Does doing this task myself contribute positively or negatively to my mental or physical well-being? Anything negative take time to brainstorm on how to reduce or eliminate.
      • Does this task align with my strengths and expertise?
      • ​Can someone else do it better? Who?
      • Can I delete, delegate, automate, or outsource it?
      • What would I be able to do that I love if I free up some time?

      Your time and sanity are two of your greatest assets.

      Your list of changes might look different from mine, but it’s crucial to create one and review it regularly, especially when stress levels rise.

      When stressed, listen to your needs and take time to just be.

      I challenge you to take a break, gain clarity, and create your list, immediately.

      Remember, you are the most important person in your life, contrary to what your brain tells you.

      Validate that truth – not someday, but today. 💛 It makes you better for you and everyone around you.

      Need help navigating?  Set up a call with me.

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