When It’s a S#&^!@ Situation
I normally don’t blog on Saturdays, but today, I felt compelled to write while everything is fresh in my mind. If you follow or know me, you’re aware that my bonus baby (my cousin) is autistic, and we’ve been caring for him for two years now. Every day brings its own challenges—some great, some good, and some downright tough.
My husband and I were invited to a crawfish boil (this is a Texas and Louisiana thang) – an invite we were genuinely excited about.
We don’t get many nights out because we’re limited on who can handle our bonus baby.
Our usual sitter is unavailable for the next two months (yes, months), so we decided to bring him along.
I was nervous.
He’s nonverbal, prone to meltdowns, and sensory-sensitive — and this event was filled with clients, potential clients, and their families.
About an hour in, I stepped outside to grab my first tray of crawfish – and I saw my husband’s face.
It said everything.
Our little one had pooped in the bouncer…and was COVERED!
We couldn’t bring him inside to clean him up without creating a messy scene, so my husband rushed him to the car while I stayed behind to scrub down the bouncer — crawling through a tiny space, bleach wipes in hand, trying to stay calm while my mind spiraled:
Why today?
Why us?
I should’ve left him on the potty longer.
This was a mistake.
We never get to do anything.
My life is never going to be the same.
And honestly…if I’m not mindful, I can live in that pity party.
This wasn’t supposed to be permanent.
We stepped in to care for my cousin’s child temporarily and here we are, years later.
But here’s the thing, I didn’t stay in that mindset. I pulled myself out. Fast.
Because I’ve learned how to reset – not perfectly, but powerfully.
Curious how I went from meltdown mode to calm in minutes?
I’m sharing the exact mindset tools I used to get myself through that “crappy” situation — literally and emotionally.
Because life might be messy — but your mindset doesn’t have to be.
Let me be real, feeling frustrated, angry, or overwhelmed doesn’t make you weak – it makes you human.
But living in that negative space? That’s where things get heavy fast.
Here’s exactly how I pulled myself out of that poop-filled spiral (literally) – and how you can use these steps to shift your energy in any hard moment:
🧠 Step 1: Look at the facts — without the drama
It wasn’t the end of the world.
Was it disgusting? Yep.
Did I want to be anywhere else? 1000%.
But the fact was: I was scrubbing a bouncer and hosing down a 7-year-old on the side of their house. That’s it.
Everything else was a story I was piling on – the “why us?”, the “this is forever” thoughts.
Facts first which helps the feelings not be so overwhleming.
🙏 Step 2: Accept what is
Wishing it didn’t happen changes nothing.
Fighting reality only drains you more.
I had a choice: fight the moment or flow through it.
Acceptance isn’t giving up – it’s choosing peace over resistance.
💛 Step 3: Give yourself grace
You’re doing your best based on where you are in the moment.
Even when you snap. Even when you ugly cry in the car. Even when you question it all.
Give yourself the same compassion you’d give your best friend.
Because navigating chaos? Doesn’t need to be done perfectly.
By the time we got to the car — our bonus baby naked, their neighbors were looking while we hosed and wiped him down.
On the ride home the car filled with a “fragrance” – we laughed.
Because sometimes, that’s all you can do.
Hard moments aren’t the problem.
It’s how we process and respond to them that changes everything.
And honestly? I don’t know how special needs moms do this without tools like these.
I’m so grateful for the mentors and coaches who taught me how to regulate, reframe, and reset — because there was a time I’d stay stuck in that pity-party spiral for days.
If you’re stuck right now in the stress, the mess, or the mindset — don’t keep white-knuckling your way through it.
You don’t have to.
Trying to DIY it is like reading a book about swimming…then jumping into the deep end.
You need direction. Real tools. A guide.
That’s where I come in.
Let’s talk.
Book a free Calm Strategy Call, and I’ll help you shift how you show up in the hardest parts of your life — so you can find your calm, even when life feels like a total 💩 show.
Because you deserve more than just surviving this season — you deserve to feel good in it. 💛
Reply back if you’re want help navigating.
