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MOMS OF Autistic Kids

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The Calm Mom Coach

Providing moms with strategies that create more ease.

Stress Hacks Part.2

Last week you received part #1 of this stress series.  If you haven’t read it yet access it here.

I gave some amazing stress hacks that can positively impact your life and marriage.

Let’s review why decreasing stress and overwhelm is so important.

Stress is the happiness killer, especially for women.

It makes you feel as if you can never do enough to keep up.

Which may even cause you to question your self-worth and value.

It kills your productivity. Your Joy. Your ability to be creative and live fully.

If you want more joy, peace, and fulfillment try these stress hacks and begin editing your life.

It will transform every aspect of your life.

Can I change or control it? Or do I need to release it?

*Some things we must solve we can’t actually release it, so we will set aside “stress” time.

Often we stress over things that are in the past or things we can’t control (like other people and their actions).

Ask yourself these questions:

  1. Is there anything I can do to change this?
  2. Am I trying to change someone else in an effort to make me happier?
  3. Am I stressing excessively over this and not actually solving the problem?
  4. Is this self-induced? If it is no worries. Don’t beat yourself up just work to do better next time.

One of my clients was in the middle of a massive home renovation.  Unexpected expenses started chipping away at the extra cushion of funds.  She is a financial guru who loves to plan, budget, and predict expenses. This sent her into a constant stress loop. She started obsessively looking at the renovation spreadsheet and when she wasn’t looking at it she would mentally stress over it.

In situations like this one, she can’t just close her eyes and release it. I suggested she plan “stress time”.  

Instead of allowing the spreadsheet to consume her all day, every day she is selecting one day a week.  On this set day she will select a certain time to “look” at her budget and the construction invoices.

When her brain tries to mentally obsess she will tell her brain things like this.

  • Hey brain we are discussing this on Friday at 3pm.  
  • It’s not Friday at 3pm.
  • No ma’am! We aren’t going there today.
  • Is it Friday at 3pm? No, it’s not.
  • Aht, aht, aht not today brain its Monday.

Constantly using brain space to think about your issues increase your stress and anxiety which can sometimes lead to depression.  

Setting aside “stress” time to solve problems will decrease your worrying time.

It also gives your brain space to creatively solve problems.

This works well with issues like finances, illness, etc. when you have to make decisions and actually spend time thinking about the problem.

If you can go from thinking about stressors 20 hours per week to 1 hour per week, how will that impact your life? That’s a 95% decrease!

Teach Your Body How to Properly Handle Stress: Slow Down. Pause. Breathe. Evaluate.

Life will never be perfect you will have small stressors and huge ones.  It’s how you handle these stressors that determine your quality of life.

Learn to slow down, pause, breathe, then calmly evaluate everything around you.

DISCLAIMER: This is a skill. The more you use it the better you will become.  The more emotionally tied and the “bigger” the stressor the longer it takes to learn how to move through it powerfully. When used often you will notice the length of time it takes to move through stressors big or small decrease.

Upset with your husband? Slow down, pause, breathe, and evaluate.

Disappointed with your career? Slow down, pause, breathe, and evaluate.

Bothered by the kids? Slow down, pause, breathe, and evaluate.

Evaluate whether this issue is really important? Will this be a big deal one year from now or even a month from now? 

It may be an issue like finances or medical problems and that’s okay. If it is calmly work through it but retrain your brain to pause and evaluate when you start to feel overwhelmed. 

My son, Jonathan, is the most unbothered person I know. When he’s running late, he doesn’t speed up. Why? He said, “I’m already late.” He’s right, why add more stress? We could all learn a few things from him because he is rarely stressed by anything. 

Have you noticed when you’re stressed, you will subconsciously sigh? It’s the way the body attempts to calm down. However, I want you to take it a step farther and take deep calculated breaths.

Deep breathing exercise benefits:
*Decreases stress and increases calm
*Reduces anxiety and depression
*Improves immunity and digestion
*Increases energy
*Stimulates the lymphatic system (detoxes body)
*Lowers blood pressure and pain

Don’t underestimate the power of deep breathing. It’s a small habit with big results. This is why I love yoga and meditation it brings calm and peace.

This process reprograms your brain and your body to take step back and regroup when stressed.

liminate the Physical Clutter

You may not think this has any correlation with your mental clarity and peace but it 100% does.

I’m a mini-hoarder by nature. I hated throwing away things because I would need that exact item in 2 years. Yup, you heard it right 2 years. SMH!

I’m not a minimalist but that’s the eventual goal.  Right now I’m becoming a “mediumilist”. LOL! 

How to Move Towards “Mediumilism”

If it costs less than $20-$30 and you haven’t used it in the last year, trash it.

How many hair products do you have that you will never use?

Pots, pans, dishes you don’t like?

Shoes that hurt your feet? That you always regret wearing or have to bring a back-up pair.

Clothes you haven’t fit in years? 

Clothes you purchased on sale that you really don’t like and never wear?

Purge. Only keep the things you use and love.

Decluttering can improve your mood, help you feel in control, increases productivity, creates mental space and clarity.

John & I no longer have arguments about cleaning up because the less clutter you have, the less there is to clean.

Even though we have a small child, it only takes 30 seconds to clean up his toys.  We have edited the number of toys he has and the amount he’s able to play with at one time.

These six stress hacks will work. I’ve used them and so have some of my clients.

The more you edit your life the more peace you will have.

To begin using these hacks start asking yourself…

  1. Is saying yes to this task or event worth it?
  2. Do I really need to __________? Is it worth it?
  3. Is doing ______ honoring me? Is it worth it?
  4. Can I change or control this?
  5. The hours I’m spending obsessing over this is it worth it?
  6. Should I set aside “stress” time?
  7. Should I take a step back, breathe, and evaluate?
  8. Should I get rid of some of the physical things to make space for my peace?
  9. Should I buy this item? Do I LOVE it? What will I release if I buy it?

If it isn’t worth your peace and time then release it!

If you can’t release it then decrease it. Schedule “stress” time to decrease the mental space you give your issues.

We always accuse others of causing us stress but I challenge you to look at your own actions and thoughts to see where you are creating your own stress storm.

When you find self-induced stress give yourself grace to change.

Many times we don’t do the things we love because we don’t have time, but other times it’s because we don’t have the energy.

Stress and overwhelm will drain you and keep you from living an amazing life.

Marriage is hard enough without complicating it with undue stress and overwhelm.

If you want to feel at ease, more purposeful, have more clarity, then editing your life is essential.

Need to decrease your stress? I can help you!

These stress hacks help you have more time and energy to spend on yourself and what’s important to you.

If you’re tired of barely hanging on. If you want more time for yourself and your marriage, we need to talk.

I can help you figure out your next steps towards less stress and more peace.

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